Avery Personal Log
by Jonah Reed
Summary: A Weird Day... That's one way of putting it... But when you put together toiletry problems, broken doors and carrots... It all goes downhill from there. This is before USSF, when Avery was more of a hick, poor fellow.


Weird day, I'm thinkin'. I had only just got up and already I was 'ttacked by a job ta do. Not that I ain't entirely fond o' all this workin' I get ta do, it's just a bit odd. 'Specially when the work is comin' from newborn Ensign Listrine Drake who just mistaken me for a Janitor an' tried to get me to go fix toiletries on Deck III.

Thankfully, 'long came mah friend, Lieut. Beka Grey. She's the local Science officer-- an' a dang good one too. She saved me from the Ensign, but I kinda felt bad fer Drake 'cause his face went redder'en my Ma's tomato sauce when Beka fessed up to mah real rank. I don't blame'em though, I don't look like I'm old 'nough to be a LT or the Cheif Engineer but it turned out fine in th' end.

Grey tol' me she was on the way to mah quarters to git me outta bed and come fix the door to 'er lab. Took me 'bout ten minutes: Two of which to walk down ta the place and realize mah tools were missin'... Four to find out mah assistant (Andri) borrowed 'em for a job 'e chose ta do in mah place (and botch'd up, so I added it to mah ta-do list for the day). One minute ta walk on back to Beka's lab. Where I spent the final three minutes fixin' the door.

About two and one half minutes into that final three, the Cap'n asked me that, if I weren't busy, to head on to Deck four and fix a leak for 'im.

"If I weren't busy," he says, "You could send down your assistant."

"I'll do it mah'self," I tells him, "It ain't that busy."

I weren't about to set Andri loose on another thing 'til I give him a little crash course into 'Why we DON'T Take the Lieutenant's Tools if we have Misplaced our own'.

Deck IV is the big scary maintenance shelf that none of us like to head on down and hangout in. S'where all the lights are nice and dead, a flashlight is the best course o'action. It used ta be a barracks, the old part'a the ship, 'til the new Barracks was put up on Deck II. Deck IV also has all the main piping and circuitry for the ship.

You'd think that it'd be a paradise for a tinkertot like mah-self, but that is far from anythin'.

It's right full up a'open cables and loose ends and the like. Random things kept breakin' down there for no good reason and half the crew says it's haunt'd, while'n the other half'a the crew don't believe it's haunt'd, but pretend 'tis as a good way to freak out the newborn Ensigns. I ain't used it to freak out the Ensigns though, it ain't nice...

Well, okay. I used it once on Drake, but I'll tell that another day.

Anyhow, I was trampin' 'round on Deck IV tryin to find that dang leak and I was just 'bout to give it up and head on back up to the main decks, when I heard the drip drip drippin' of somethin'.

So I head on over an', sure 'nough, there she be. I'm a bit too short ta reach the thing, so I grab a handy chair, set it in place and hop'a'top. I reach up to the pipe to fix 'er right up and sunn'ly this great big sploosh'a'water comes flyin' at me with such a force I am knocked clear offa the chair and git slamm'd inta the concrete floorin'!

I shoulda been knocked out or somethin', but the water kept me wide aw'ke. The water stopp'd runnin' and I lay on my back to catch my bearings, my wrist hurtin' like all get out, and this great big some-kinda-thing comes swoopin' outta the gaping hole in the now-dry pipe and WOULDN'T YA KNOW IT? It comes right on down and smacks me square in the jaw. I saw stars, I swears to glory, I did!

I was in a ragin' freakin' fit and I'm now wishin' I hadda camera on me when I was walkin' through the hallway to the Cap'n's room to report the "incident" and tell'em I fix'd the leak.

'Course, I ran into Andri (least it weren't Drake or Beka) and I was soakin' ringin' wet head to toe, shiverin' with cold, broken wrist and this huge bruise on the side of mah face.

So he asks me what the heck happened.

Wish I hadda camera to take a picture of 'is expression (and later on, the Cap'n's expression when 'e found out) when 'e asked how I got the bruise and I shoved this giant orange carrot inta his line'a view.

Now that I think'a it, I wished I also hadda sedative to calm 'is lungs down when'e burst out inta laughter-- I don't wanna attract no unwant'd attention, y'know?

Andri also let me know that th' toiletries problem on Deck III was magically cured about ten minutes ago. Took meh ten minutes to git up here from Deck IV.

Long story short, the Doc-on-Duty fix'd mah wrist and sen' me ta bed so I didn't catch a cold from all that. I wen' on and took a few (dozen) showers first.

"Computer. End record."


End file.
